Someone might be looking at you and "listening" but for all you know you could be talking to a brick wall! When someone is listening to me I know they're listening because they reply back often and use more words then; yeah, ah uh, sure, etc. You can tell someone is listening and they care about the situation then they don't just tell you what you want to hear, they tell you how they/you would handle it and actually being helpful to you.
They could be rude to you about it too by saying; I have to go, I'll just talk to you later, I can't talk to you right now, I don't want to talk about that kind of stuff right now, I got more important things to deal with right now, etc. When people respond these things when we try to talk to or say something serious to them we feel like were not cared about, ingored, not worth peoples time, and so many other things.
Sometimes people can be really rude, mean, nasty, etc. When people do this their not only bad listeners, but their also mean people that are not very good friends, and if your not worth their time, than they shouldn't be worth yours. If you do that then you will feel better, feel like a wieght has been lifted off your shoulders, you have no worries, one less person to worry about, etc.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Thursday, December 6, 2012
What makes you/other people good listeners?
What to you think makes people good listeners? The time they take out of their day for someone else? The way they respond to others (their attitude)? The advice they give? Whether they tell people what they really think or what they think the other person wants to hear? All these things? Other things?
Most people like good listeners because it makes them feel as though someone cares enough about them to listen to what they have to say. I realized how important it is to have someone in your life who's a good listener when I went through a tough time, and there was no one there I could talk to about it.
You might see in movies that there is this girl who's having a bad life. On top of that, she goes to school, and that just makes everything worse. She feels life is just so unfair, that nobody understands, and why, when she never did anything that bad in her life that bad things are happening to her, and blah blah...right?
Well I can promise you that last year my life was the perfect story for that movie. Everything I went through happened either all at once or one after the other all year around. I didn't think it was going to end any time soon, and it didn't.
What came up first was my gram (my father's mother) dying. I was really sad, but at the same time I didn't really know her a whole lot, so I didn't really know how to feel or how to deal with it. She didn't die unexpectely; she had some kind of cancer that wouldn't get better, and she had so much pain that she couldn't move or do anything without somebody helping her. It was a mess, and I wasn't allowed to see her.
During that same time my pap ( her husband) was really sick and coughing up fluids. Sometimes the doctors thought that he was even worse than my gram. For the last couple months of my gram's life, he was showing signs of Alzheimer's disease.
Soon after, my aunt on my dad's side was diagnosed with breast cancer for the fifth time; this time she was really bad because she had fluids in her lungs. When doctors tried to drain the lungs, something went wrong, and her condition grew worse.
Then my other gram (on my mother's side), who had been sick for a couple of years, suddenly became worse. Her doctors said that she would need a double lung transplant. She had been coughing up fluids and blood; however, it was determined later that despite how sick she is, she isn't bad enough to be put on the transplant list. She continues to get worse, but is still not on the list.
Then my other aunt on my dad's side starting having problems with her heart; it turned out that she needed open heart surgery. She didn't know whether she could get it done because of all the things that still needed to be done with my gram. Everybody stepped up and started helping her take care of gram, and she was able to have the surgery which worked out well for her.
Then last year, one week before Christmas, my dad starting having leg problems. He went to the doctor to and found out he had a blood clot in his leg. Before he could get surgery to remove the clot, he had to get a test to see whether his heart was healthy enough to hold up under the surgery. That's how he found out that he had a serious heart problem. He needed to have it taken care of right away or he wouldn't live much longer. He had the surgery, and by the beginning of January, everything was working fine with him again.
Finally, my other pap (on my mom's side) had to get new knees because his two bones are rubbing off of each other. He needed to have surgery but couldn't because doctors discovered that his heart was bad, too, and had to get his heart worked on first. He had to have a stent put it in, and that put his knee surgery on hold for a year because it would be bad for his heart to have another major surgery so soon.
Through all this time, I had no one that I could talk to or help me out when I needed somebody the most . I didn't care if it was somebody I didn't know; I could have used somebody that had already been through this, a friend, a blogger, or anybody.
That's why I decided to start this blog; I wanted to give people someone to talk to, to give them somewhere to get things off their chest, just like I wanted to last year!
Most people like good listeners because it makes them feel as though someone cares enough about them to listen to what they have to say. I realized how important it is to have someone in your life who's a good listener when I went through a tough time, and there was no one there I could talk to about it.
You might see in movies that there is this girl who's having a bad life. On top of that, she goes to school, and that just makes everything worse. She feels life is just so unfair, that nobody understands, and why, when she never did anything that bad in her life that bad things are happening to her, and blah blah...right?
Well I can promise you that last year my life was the perfect story for that movie. Everything I went through happened either all at once or one after the other all year around. I didn't think it was going to end any time soon, and it didn't.
What came up first was my gram (my father's mother) dying. I was really sad, but at the same time I didn't really know her a whole lot, so I didn't really know how to feel or how to deal with it. She didn't die unexpectely; she had some kind of cancer that wouldn't get better, and she had so much pain that she couldn't move or do anything without somebody helping her. It was a mess, and I wasn't allowed to see her.
During that same time my pap ( her husband) was really sick and coughing up fluids. Sometimes the doctors thought that he was even worse than my gram. For the last couple months of my gram's life, he was showing signs of Alzheimer's disease.
Soon after, my aunt on my dad's side was diagnosed with breast cancer for the fifth time; this time she was really bad because she had fluids in her lungs. When doctors tried to drain the lungs, something went wrong, and her condition grew worse.
Then my other gram (on my mother's side), who had been sick for a couple of years, suddenly became worse. Her doctors said that she would need a double lung transplant. She had been coughing up fluids and blood; however, it was determined later that despite how sick she is, she isn't bad enough to be put on the transplant list. She continues to get worse, but is still not on the list.
Then my other aunt on my dad's side starting having problems with her heart; it turned out that she needed open heart surgery. She didn't know whether she could get it done because of all the things that still needed to be done with my gram. Everybody stepped up and started helping her take care of gram, and she was able to have the surgery which worked out well for her.
Then last year, one week before Christmas, my dad starting having leg problems. He went to the doctor to and found out he had a blood clot in his leg. Before he could get surgery to remove the clot, he had to get a test to see whether his heart was healthy enough to hold up under the surgery. That's how he found out that he had a serious heart problem. He needed to have it taken care of right away or he wouldn't live much longer. He had the surgery, and by the beginning of January, everything was working fine with him again.
Finally, my other pap (on my mom's side) had to get new knees because his two bones are rubbing off of each other. He needed to have surgery but couldn't because doctors discovered that his heart was bad, too, and had to get his heart worked on first. He had to have a stent put it in, and that put his knee surgery on hold for a year because it would be bad for his heart to have another major surgery so soon.
Through all this time, I had no one that I could talk to or help me out when I needed somebody the most . I didn't care if it was somebody I didn't know; I could have used somebody that had already been through this, a friend, a blogger, or anybody.
That's why I decided to start this blog; I wanted to give people someone to talk to, to give them somewhere to get things off their chest, just like I wanted to last year!
Friday, November 16, 2012
Listening In Any Way Possible!
Listening takes time, patience, caring about the other person, not being selfish, and doing whatever you can by helping in any way possible. Listening is a key ingredient in any relationship. If both of you are talking and neither is listening, then neither of you knows how the other is feeling. Listening is like a book: if you don't pay attention, you might miss a great story. Hearing is one of the best things that you could possibly do to strengthen your relationships, build your character and reputation, and help others to know someone cares. There are times you may be the only person in someone's life who actually listens to them, and maybe when you need someone to listen to you, they will be there for you.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)